Greetings, witches and friends. It’s Wednesday. We’re tired. There’s a reason humpday is one of the most despised days in existence. It’s super far from the weekend (even though it’s only 2 days) and, let’s be honest, what even is a weekend anymore?
Anyway, it is my understanding, based on extensive research of myself and maybe 3 other people, that we’re feeling a bit stagnant. We’re feeling the lockdown vibes, we’re feeling the buildup of tension within the home. We’re in each other’s faces, or we’re all alone and slowly losing our minds.
Let me tell you, whatever you are experiencing, you are not alone.
Today, we are going to shake some of those negative vibes the f*ck off. For some of you, this will be pretty standard practice. Maybe you have a daily cleansing routine. Maybe you just sleep with a Selenite tower right next to your head. Maybe you burn so much sage in your place that the neighbours are about to call the authorities because the smell is so strong (let’s be honest, it does kind of smell like weed, everyone, in a way).
Regardless, let’s do this together. Let’s say F*CK NO to bad vibes in our homes.
Let’s cleanse this sh*t.
You’re going to need:
Incense (anything will do, don’t panic, but if you have it, something Sage or Palo-Santo or Frankincense based is ideal).
Our old trusty friend, the white candle. Any size, any scent, if it’s a birthday candle, that’s cool. If it’s electric orange, whatever. Work with what you’ve got.
Your altar or spell-casting space.
A pen and a piece of paper
Some string/wool/yarn/a hair elastic/actual hair/dental floss
A lighter or matches to set sh*t on fire.
Here’s what to do:
First off, let’s take a bath or shower. Let’s literally cleanse ourselves. Let’s wash that grimy, too-many-snacks feeling off of us. Let’s bask in the tub or breathe in the shower steam. Add some herbs. Sage, Rosemary, whatever you’ve got. Add some bath salts. Treat yourself. You’ve earned it.
Now that you’re all squeaky clean, let’s cast our circle. Again, you don’t have to. Just get your space ready in whichever way you like to do that. I like to light some incense first, and then cast the circle. You do you.
Right, now it’s time to address that dark, sh*tty little niggle in your mind that is making you feel like crap. There are probably a few of them. Write them down. Are you slowly losing the will to live because your neighbours are super loud and seem to drop barbells on the floor every five minutes? Are you developing an eye twitch because it’s sunny outside and you’re stuck INSIDE? Are you feeling hopeless or helpless? Are you sick of cooking and doing the dishes on repeat? Because I am. It’s making me want to stab myself in the face. I just want to eat food that doesn’t require dishes. Anyway. As usual. Back to the point. Write these things down (If you have the whole bay leaf/cauldron option available to you, it’s a great way to do it) on the paper (or the bay leaf, whatever). Be honest, be specific, and really dive in deep. We’re in Venus Retrograde, witches, shadow work all the way. I know that the person who is pissing me off the most right now is MYSELF. So I’m going to write that down.
Now that you’ve purged all of that onto the page, it’s time to wrap it up. Literally, roll the paper, fold the paper, tie it up with string. Now that those things are tightly wound up (just like you WON’T be after this ritual – wink!), place the paper on the altar next to your white candle.
Light that candle.
I cleanse this space, I cleanse this home. Cast out excess stressors grown. I cast it off, I burn away The gathered dust; reset today.
Play with it. Reword it. This is your practice – you can do whatever you want with it. I am here merely to serve you as a humble guide.
Now it’s time to – you guessed it – MEDITATE. Visualise yourself literally blowing cobwebs out – each web is a dodgy vibe you’ve been holding onto. Each spec of dust is a piece of self-doubt. Each grubby mark you mentally wipe away is a negative feeling you’re holding in your chest toward something or someone else. CLEAN IT. Do it in your mind. This is the only kind of cleaning I am any good at.
When you’re done, you have options. You can either set your little bundle of sh*t on actual fire (so long as you have a safe way of doing this, please), or you can walk outside and chuck it in the trash. Don’t keep it in your home – you want rid. If you do burn it up, bury those ashes AWAY from your home, or flush them down the toilet. Literally flush that sh*t away.
Burn your candle down, or don’t, depending on how big it is. You can always light this again tomorrow and keep the spell work going.
Close your circle – finish your practice.
Now, then – don’t you feel lighter already?
How are you doing, friends? Tell me! I want to know. Send me a DM, an email, or use this handy form. If you’re feeling brave, you can leave me a voice message on Anchor. Or, if you do this ritual, why don’t you post a little ritual pic on Instagram and tag me?
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