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OBW 2020: Setting Goals With Kindness

As we’re coming towards the end of 2019, I wanted to focus this week on 2020 and ways we can optimise this coming year for ourselves. Each day this week, we’ll focus on something to do with finishing 2019 with as much grace and dignity as we can, given the absolute clusterf*ck it’s been and the crazy retrograde and retroshade it’s thrown us, and how we can move into a new decade with our goals set, our minds and souls refreshed, and a kickass attitude of abundance and fulfilment.

So today, its Monday, and I want to talk about goal-setting. I know I talk a lot about manifestation, and how we can create abundance, being clear and intentional. But what about kindness? I sometimes feel that, for myself, I set goals that are, well…impossible. And there is a difference between ambitious and impossible. For example, if I said I wanted to get to 3000 Instagram followers by the end of January, that’s ambitious. If I said I wanted to reach 1,000,000, that’s…not impossible, but probably unlikely. So let’s talk about the difference, and why it’s important to know.

What happens when you set yourself up to fail?

A soccer goal net in the middle of an empty, barren, foggy field.

I know, fighting words. We don’t tend to use the word ‘failure’ that much when we discuss abundance mindsets and positive thought processes. But what we do when we say things to ourselves such as, “I want to get a book deal by the end of this week” when we have zero leads and no book proposal, is that we set ourselves up to fail. And when we do that, we get BAD VIBES. That feeling when you miss a deadline, and that feeling when you fail to bring a homemade cake to a party because you never had the time to do it but you said you would anyway? That feeling is bad. It leads us to negativity and unkind thoughts about ourselves. It makes us feel that we have failed, that we have performed badly, when in fact, we may have performed well, but we just didn’t give ourselves enough time, or enough allowance, or a realistic viewpoint on how we were going to get this done.

What happens when you set yourself up for success?

A lightbulb illuminated, with other bulbs out of focus in the background.

Instead of setting IMPOSSIBLE goals, we can set AMBITIOUS goals, and this is when we get to feel that warm, fuzzy, fizzy feeling in our chests that you only get when you are f*cking delighted with your own performance.

This is the energy we need in order to continue to manifest what we want out of our lives. This positive reinforcement – those little wins; that’s what keeps us going, gets us vibrating at the right high level, and fuels the fire for manifestation and abundance. Think of it this way – when you’re training a puppy, you use treats to reinforce good behaviour, and a harsh tone of voice to discourage bad behaviour. So we need to treat ourselves – those wins – to keep our vibrations going. Because when we’re feeling good, we’re drawing more goodness towards us.

Why is Self-Kindness So Important?

A person with long braided hair smiles as they sit on a swing.

Again – we’re attracting back the energy that we’re putting out. If we’re sending out manic, stressed energy, guess what we’re drawing in? You guessed it.

So when we manifest with self-kindness, we end up bringing back in that kindness. We allow ourselves small gains, which then make us feel good. When we feel good, we attract goodness back, and the vicious cycle becomes a kind cycle of abundance and positivity.

A black and white dog stands with its paws up on a fence, watching soap bubbles float around it.

I get that it can sound too good to be true – but it’s not easy. How do we start to set the bar for those positive vibrations? Well, it’s one step at a time, Witches. So for today, maybe set yourself a goal for the week that you know you can achieve, smash, and hit out of the park. That way, you’re going to get that warm fuzzy when you do it (maybe even ahead of schedule?) and kickstart that kindness manifestation chain reaction.

Have a wondrous week.



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